Fishing through

Is it just me or is the bathroom an amazing place to get ideas? You're probably all thinking, that's a random way to start off your first blog, I don't care. I just wanted to skip the awkward hello and jump right in. I came to realize this on my mission. What a fountain of knowledge the bathroom really could be. Now, I say this in the most humble way I can, but I came up with some pretty dang good ideas for the work when I was in the bathroom. Think about it. Exactly. That's what you do when you're in the bathroom. You think. And that ivory throne helps open your mind to anything and everything. And the next thing ya know, you've got something brilliant on your hands.
I guess the reason why I'm rambling on about this is because that's where I got the idea to start a blog. I've had a lot on my mind lately and I've been looking for a way to get them out (sadly I've gotten lazy and don't write in my journal), I was thinking of what I could do, and this came to mind. It's like a journal, I s'pose. So cool beans, I say.
This blog, or I guess, this entry is probably gonna be pretty random. I just want to get any thoughts I have out of me, because there's too many crammed in the noggin for me to handle right now. So I'm glad I have this keyboard and screen in front of me. A nice friend, willing to listen at 12:06 am. I'm not even sure if I'm actually gonna post this. We'll see. It's just nice to let the fingers fly. And I've always liked the sound of a typing keyboard. I could fall asleep to that. If someone made a tape of that, instead of crickets chirping, or the waves of the sea, or "Sounds of the Trailer Park", I'd definitely pick the typing keyboard.
Anyway, I don't even know where to start. Where can you start when so many things are spinning around in your head? I guess all you can do is reach inside and pull something out. So here it goes.
I just got home from my mission 2 months ago. It feels like 2 days. It actually feels like I never went on a mission. It just feels like it was a dream. A far off, blurry dream, that I once had of a long, but quick, adventure in a far away country. Filled with people I didn't know. A language (or two) that I couldn't speak or understand. Food, the contents of which I did not want to know. A new life. The "real world". My mission changed my life. I'll say that right now, and I will never deny it. I was a dummy before my mission, who thought he knew something, but really knew nothing. But my mission changed that. I'm still a dummy, but I feel like I know a little more about something, mainly about this thing we call life. And what it's all about.
Have you ever had those days where nothing really goes right? And the first thing that always comes to mind is "Why can't something just work out?" My mission was filled with those. Oh boy. The adversary loved sticking that question in my mind. Then he'd try to sprinkle a hint of doubt in me. Then came more discouragement, and anger at the Lord. That was his most powerful weapon against me. That's one thing I learned. The adversary wants me thinking those things. He wants me doubting the One that I really should be trusting. If he could do that, he'd have me. But I didn't buy it. The Lord loves me. Maybe things don't working out right when it's convenient, but that's NO excuse to doubt Him and His plan for me. I've kicked myself many a-time for having those thoughts. But I think I've gotten a little better at kicking the thought, before I have to kick myself. It's funny though, that the thoughts still come. Even now, I worry too much about things, if something isn't going quite the way I want. I over-react, over-analyze. I dig too deep into things, trying to figure it out right away, without trusting that it'll all work out if it's the will of the Lord.
I love the Lord. I know He loves me. And I know He wants what is best for me. He has a plan for me. A plan that I may not completely understand right now. But every now and again, He will give me little glimpses of what could be if I do what's right. I know that the Gospel of Our Savior Jesus Christ is what will help each of us do what is right. That the Plan our Father has for us, may be fulfilled. Christ is our Lord and Savior. His love for each of us is incomprehensible. I cannot fully describe or express the feelings of love that I have felt from Him. But suffice it to say that I know He loves each of us. He is always watching. Always waiting. And always willing to bear our cross for us, if we will just take the path He took, and follow. His Atonement is real. It is what makes this life worth living. It is what makes this life possible. It is the source of strength that I look to each and every day. When I am down, He is there to lift me. He knows the hard times. He's felt that heartbreak, the pain, the sorrow that we all have felt, do feel, and will ever feel in our lives. How? Why? Love. He loves us! I cannot say that I enough. I love my Lord and Savior, with all of my heart. To Him I bow, and to Him I run for strength and courage. It is He, who helps me to understand that things will work out in the end. The Gospel, the Lord's Plan are all about the Happy Ending. "Consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness." (Mosiah 2:41) It hasn't come yet. But it's all about the journey. Yeah it's hard. Where in that verse does it say that it's easy? It says to think about those that are happy - why are they happy? Because they do what the Lord has asked them to do. And He, being the wonderful Father that He is, blesses them for doing it.
Life is good. I love it. And I'm glad to know what I know and to have to chance to learn and grow some more.